If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
I didn't get this "World's Greatest Dad" mug for nothing.
It cost $14.99
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
So my daughter is calling me all excited. I come by her room to her holding her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
If I put dull-tasting food in a bowl, will it have a bowlder taste?
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.