The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.