What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
Got emotional hearing about the role of tectonic plates in earthquakes. It was really moving.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
So my daughter is calling me all excited. I come by her room to her holding her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
What do you call a glass dinosaur?
Pyrex.
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.