What do you call a glass dinosaur?
Pyrex.
If I put dull-tasting food in a bowl, will it have a bowlder taste?
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?
He has no need for glasses.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.
I guess she doesn’t like windows.
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
