What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
Mooning is very ASStrological
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut