This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.