Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Did you hear about the restaurant they built on the moon?
The food is good but it lacks atmosphere.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.