What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Why will you not want to give a bath to the Saturn? It would then leave a ring around the tub.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
Mooning is very ASStrological
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”