When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Said to my husband I'm going to take a hot tub. He said...
"When are you going to put it back?"
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
Dialysis is a blood bath.
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
