The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five dollars,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten dollars!'
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What is large and rocky at the bottom, small and snowy at the top and has ears?
Give up? A mountain.
Yeah but what about the ears?
You never heard of mountaineers?
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
What did the sink say to the potty?
You look flushed!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
What the difference between you and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
Have you heard the joke about the butter? I better not tell you, it might spread. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
If there’s an invasion army of endless flies attacking, who you gonna call?
The fly S.W.A.T. Team!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!