Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why did the balloon burst? Because is saw a lolly pop.
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? An offer you can't understand.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
What do you call a funny mountain? hill-arious
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
Have you heard the joke about the butter? I better not tell you, it might spread. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back