What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five dollars,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten dollars!'
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was in'tents'.
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
"Mom look! I’m a 3D printer!"
"Ugh Tommy, close the door when you poop."
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey!
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Their own.
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!