I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
KFC have hired geneticists to edit chicken DNA
Apparently they want something CRISPR.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.