What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.