I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.