What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.