Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
All stereos are so typical.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
