Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.