What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.