What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.