What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.