Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.