Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
