Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.