A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.