What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.