Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!