How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
