"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
I love you berry much.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
"I wood never leaf you."
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
Your love will always be up to par.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
I have bean
thinking about you.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
I like you sow much.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
"Aloe you vera much."
I always have a souper time with you.
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
I pitcher us together forever.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
I whale-y like you.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
when I’m with you.
I always have a ball with you.
You're my purr-son.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
I’m soy
into you.