Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
I always have a souper time with you.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
I get a real kick out of you.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
"I wood never leaf you."
I whale-y like you.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
You octopi my thoughts.
I have bean
thinking about you.
We are mint to be.
"I lava you."
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
"Aloe you vera much."
I always have a ball with you.
"I'm nuts about you."
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
I cannoli be happy
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
You’re right up my alley.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
I’m soy
into you.
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.