I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.