What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.