Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.