Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
That boy narrated his-story really well.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.