Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.