Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?