“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
“You are one yoga class away from a good mood.” – Unknown
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by yoga.” – Unknown
“I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.” – Terri Guillemets
“I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
“When in doubt, yoga it out.” – Unknown
“All kidding aside, if everyone did yoga, we would have world peace.” — Rory Freedman
I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take. She said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.” – Unknown
“I do yoga so that I can stay flexible enough to kick my own arse if necessary.” — Betsy Cañas Garmon
“I think there should be holy war against yoga classes.” — Werner Herzog
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
“I’m actually banned from the Himalayas, because I’m too good at yoga.” – Judah Friedlander
“I'm not napping this is savasana.”
- Berndt Vogel
"Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time."
– Sadhguru
“An instructor once gave the following cue in yoga class: “Relax your pancreas.” I don’t even know where my pancreas is, never mind how to relax it! I giggled for the rest of the class.” – Mel Farrimond
“I meditate and do yoga. I sit cross-legged and try not to levitate too much.” – Jeremy Brett
“I’ve got 99 problems and I’m gonna go to yoga and solve about 53 of them.” -Unknown
“Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” — Eric Paskel
“Medidation, because some questions can’t be answered by Google.” — Inner Balance Wear
"What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!"
- Sadhana Yoga
“Yoga instructor just emailed to say class is moved and thanks for our flexibility.” – Unknown
“I do yoga to burn off the crazy” — Anonymous
All my friends complaint about not feeling good, and are freaking out about their lives, and I’m just like, “There’s Yoga pose for that!” — Unknown
“I like tea and yoga, but I don’t do yoga.” – Moby
"Calming the mind is yoga. Not just standing on the head."
- Swami Satchidananda
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
“I love yoga, but the namaste thing only takes you so far.” — Jillian Michaels
"One meditator to another: Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?" – Unknown
“I’ve always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs.” — Katya Zamolodchikova
“Smiling is mouth yoga.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
“I remember when yoga was called Twister.” – Unknown
“The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.”
- Grant Tucker.
"Yoga is a way of getting totally drunk – not on alcohol but on life."
- Sadhguru
“When Chuck Norris does yoga, the sun salutes him.” – Unknown
“A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves.” — Terri Guillemets
“A day without yoga is like a sundae without sprinkles” — Emma Mildon
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
“Me to my students every day: Close your eyes. If you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open.” – Unknown
“Sorry for what I said before I yoga-ed.” – Unknown
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
“What Yoga really is… Spending an entire hour trying not to fart.”— Anonymous
"It's funny when people think 'yoga people' are supposed to be calm. No. We're all here because we're nuts." — Unknown
“Let’s face it, I only practice yoga because the classes are always packed with beautiful women.” — Adam Levine
“When I’m under stress, I do yoga. It’s when I’m happiest that I have a problem with junk food.” — Britney Spears
“I do an hour’s yoga and go running everyday. Then I see a picture of myself and I still look like a skinny, pot bellied idiot — and I thought I had turned into this superhunk!” — Chris Martin
“Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown
"Is taco yoga a thing yet? Someone get on that."
- Chisty Lowe
“I talked to a wild group last night. I knew it the minute someone yelled ‘Louder!’ during the silent meditation. – Robert Orben”
“I do Yoga to relieve stress… Just kidding I drink wine in yoga pants.” — Anonymous
“Three things that never lie: Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.” – Unknown