Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
French, French Revolution
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Can I be Candide with you?
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.