I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
French, French Revolution
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!