What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Can I be Candide with you?
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
French, French Revolution
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
French people give me the crepes.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.