I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.