How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.