My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear