My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
