How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.