German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
French people give me the crepes.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."