I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
There’s no trick in these pants.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Nice pumpkins!
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”