Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Nice pumpkins!
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I am a mean green machine.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
There’s no trick in these pants.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.