My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.