Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous