Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.