Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.