Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.