Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship