What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
