Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!