"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
"My cat doesn't like you."
We should make like your parents and split.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Let’s make like a banana and split.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."