Let’s make like an atom, and split.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"You deserve better and so do I."
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
We should make like your parents and split.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
You are so right. And I am so left.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."