You look like my future ex wife.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!