Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
"My cat doesn't like you."
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.