What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.

A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...

A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins

Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.

What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."

A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”

Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.

Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.

Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.