Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I once knew an arrogant sponge.
He was very self absorbed
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
All farts...are laughing gas.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.